Here we go again

So yesterday my husband left for deployment. And with him he took my heart, and my soul, and what feels like half of my body. I love him more than words can say and miss hom so much already. This being my second deployment I thought that it would be easier, right? Wrong! If anything it feels just like I'm doing this for the first time all over again.
I know that Brian and I both felt like this deployment crept up on us some how. I don't know where the time has slipped away to; I feel like just yesterday we were at the hospital holding a just born Briley. And next thing we know, there were are standing on Devil Field in 82 degree weather surrounded by multi-cam. This time saying good bye wasn't any easier for either of us. I felt my heart literally breaking as Brian was holding Briley and kissing us both good bye for last time for 9 months. Watching Brian holding his 6 week old daughter, I could see the realization on his face as it registered how much he was actually going to be missing in the next months. I think that moment is what truly hit me the hardest and made me cry like a baby.

Going through the rest of the day wasn't so bad because I spent it with Brooke, one of my newest best friends. And we went to see our friend Monica's brand new baby boy Bryce. (By the way he is a beautiful baby boy.) But after the whole "keeping myself busy" for a few hours, I  had to do what I dreaded most: go home. As soon as I walked through the door and took care of the animals, I saw the  note that my amazingly sweet husband left me I lost it. I just leaned against the wall and let myself cry. I gave myself only 5 minutes, and then I held it together pretty well until Briley's bath and bed time. Going to sleep in my queen sized bed all alone was a sad realization that this deployment is real.

So here we are again, this time I'm not just a wife but a mother. And I  have to be strong and set an example for my daughter. We love and miss you Brian! We are so proud of you! Stay safe and come home soon. <3